1. When someone first told me you had cheated on me I denied it because you were just talking to me ten minutes ago and we were joking and you told me you loved me and you promised you would never hurt me and how could you paint tears on my face when you were never even an artist?
2. I saw it with my own eyes. You were asking people how to let me go easily because you had fallen for someone else and you were wondering how you could get this other person to like you back and you lead me on and I still cannot believe it because you told me that I was your best relationship and now you dropped me faster than a venomous spider.
3. I told you and you denied it you fucking denied all of it until finally you came clean but you said you no longer had feelings for her and that was a complete lie because you just had feelings for her one day ago and feelings do not disappear like a raindrop evaporates on the cement.
4. You left me and there are no other words to describe the feeling of hurt and betrayal and sadness I feel and I want to scream and yell at the world because I know everything happens for a reason but I sure as hell cannot see the reason and my hands and legs are shaking like a leaf on the trees during the cold, winter winds.
5. I wake up the next morning and it punches me over and over again and I know now that you are gone and I just want someone to comfort me but it was always you that comforted me and you knew so many of my secrets and habits and quirks and you knew how resilient I could be and how broken I could be all at once and right now I feel so broken that I wonder if my pieces will form a mosaic or just a fragment of a piece of art that was never finished.
6. My sister strokes my back as I lie on our bedroom floor and she tells me that it will be okay and I know it will be okay eventually but right now it does not feel okay at all and my silence is so loud that you can hear my tear drops fall to the floor.
7. I found one of the many drawings I drew of you and me and I scribbled you out and I shredded it piece by piece and I suppose that is how I feel right now because without you in the picture I feel like shredded pieces of a picturesque.
8. My legs are shaky and my head throbs because I can hear your voice so clearly and I can hear the promises you never kept, repeating over and over again and I just really want to escape it all and slip through the cracks like water in a broken glass.
9. The grass is your favorite color and the weather is turning into your favorite season and I know your birthday is soon and I want to get you a nice gift but you are gone now and this wrapping paper is collecting dust faster than the words you said to me are in my mind.
10. My heart still feels broken but I am slowly trying to stitch it back together and I know that you are not coming back and I do not want you back but I just miss our blissful times we had and they still repeat in my head and I just do not know if what we had was ever real to you or if it was just a little game of Life.
|—||Ten stages. (via dollpoetry)|